Thoughts from the sofa

Fill your life with little joys

Saturday, 10th of May

I don’t know if you heard but I’m sick. Again. I don’t know if I actually became fully well since my last cold as I was battling a sore throat and then losing my voice and then getting a cough and now… well the fever is back.

There’s something really isolating about being sick, especially in a one-person household. I guess that goes without saying since you’re supposed to be actively avoiding other people, but I guess it just becomes extra palpable and annoying when a) you live by yourself and b) it’s one of the first spring weekends. People are throwing birthday parties and drinking beer outside and going to baptisms. Me? I’m getting light-headed from getting up to blow my nose and learning more about MomTok. I’m not bitter, I swear. It’s just a cold and it’ll pass and honestly, it’s still freezing outside so hiding under the covers is actually pretty cosy. But yes, I do feel a little lonely at the end of the day.

I was watching

Estée Lalonde

on Youtube earlier today and she said something about how she didn’t picture her life looking like this at this age. And honestly? Hard relate. I think there are a lot of us who feel this way but it’s a little difficult, if not embarrassing, to admit it. It’s like we all involuntarily signed up for the “75 hard challenge” and are obliged to post our before/after photos next to everyone else’s. Except it’s a “before your turn 30 challenge” and everyone is telling you different versions of “you’re so brave for posting that photo” when you fall short. I didn’t sign up for the challenge in the first place but I also didn’t trip myself up right before the finish line. My ex did that for me, thank you very much.

On a lighter note, I saw this post that said a lot of us don’t realize the power we have over our own joy. Plan something to look forward to. Make a really great playlist to get ready to every morning. Decide you always make dessert on Tuesdays, or have a glass of wine on Thursdays. Whatever you want - it’s literally your choice to either fill your life with little joys, or not.